


somebody catch my breath

by BlackCarousel, joshsdrumsticks



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cute and kinda fluffy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Everyone Is Gay, Fluffy Ryden, Mario Kart, Switches POVs, THERE HAS TO BE OREOS, except jenna, first fic don't judge, lol of course, tyler is sort of a fuckboy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-09-01 14:02:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8627347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackCarousel/pseuds/BlackCarousel, https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshsdrumsticks/pseuds/joshsdrumsticks
Summary: Josh had thought that he had gotten over the strong feeling of hatred toward the captain of the basketball team, general slacker and overly cocky boy that was Tyler Joseph, but evidently not.





	1. but lying's all I've learned

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, y'all. thank you so much for actually spending time reading this (probably) crap. Just to let you know it's my first fic so please don't judge but I hope you enjoy!  
> Also, any comments or kudos are appreciated a lot. :)
> 
> |-/

Josh’s P.O.V.

 

It was the beginning of the school year, and Joshua Dun had slept in like the summer holidays had never happened. He woke up to his mother screaming at him from the bottom of the stairs to, ‘GET UP JOSH! YOU HAVE TO LEAVE IN 10 MINUTES!’ and with that he was awake. He pulled on the first thing in his drawer (which happened to be a plain black top and jeans (thankfully)) and grabbed a slice of toast from the counter before bolting out of the door to the bus stop down the road. 

 

At the bus stop was Brendon, who lived in the street opposite his. They had been friends since 2nd grade when Josh accidentally stepped on Brendon’s brand new shoes and Brendon, being Brendon shouted at him. Josh had started crying and the other boy felt bad for making him cry. Since Josh didn’t seem to have any friends, Brendon offered to be his friend, and Josh willingly accepted. They had been stuck to each other ever since.

 

When they arrived at school, they passed the gym on the way to their first lesson, and it suddenly reminded of the thing, the person, he had been trying unsuccessfully all summer to forget. 

 

Josh had thought that he had gotten over the strong feeling of hatred toward the captain of the basketball team, general slacker and overly cocky boy that was Tyler Joseph, but evidently not.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

‘Fucking Tyler Joseph.’

 

Josh muttered as he sat down at his table in the cafeteria at lunch with Brendon and Dallon. He hadn’t stopped thinking about him, about how he never does his homework on time how he never tries in class, how he and his group of friends were all just stuck-up dicks, how the light shines just right on his face to show his chocolate coloured eyes or how those eyes light up every time he really smi-

 

Hold up.

 

What the hell.

 

He didn’t think that. Of course he didn’t, right? Josh is straight, isn’t he? I mean, Tyler Joseph is the rudest, more arroga-

 

‘Hey Josh?’ Dallon asked, breaking Josh out of his thoughts, thankfully, ‘ You gonna eat?’

 

Josh’s friends had heard Josh rant on and on about the infamous Tyler joseph a million times and, although Josh knew this, he still kept telling Brendon and Dallon about why he hated this boy so much.

 

‘ I swear to God if he talks about how many girls he hooked up with at that party on the weekend one more time, or if he makes another one of his stupid excuses for why he hasn’t done his stupid homework, I’ll - ‘

 

‘ - You’ll do what, Josh?,’ Brendon interrupted. ‘ We all know that you ‘hate’ him. Can we please stop talking about your love life and just eat?’ Josh gaped at Brendon.

 

‘ What the hell are you talking about? Love life? Tyler Joseph is the most stuck-up, annoyi-’

 

‘Alright, alright, whatever’ Brendon smirked at Josh and then looked at Dallon, who was unsuccessfully trying to suppress his laughter and nearly snorted into his sandwich.

 

Josh looked down at his lunch with a scowl on his face; he was still mad at Brendon and Dallon, but they were his friends, and he wouldn’t be mad for long. He was deep in thought while his friends talked until the bell rung. He grabbed his bag and headed for Music, readying himself for an hour of complete torture.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

As Josh got into the Music classroom, he headed straight for the back, where he could hide and not be asked questions, although he did play the drums. It also gave him a much better view of everyone in the classroom and as he thought this, he scanned the room, noticing an empty chair beside him. Phew! At least there wasn’t a Tyler Joseph in this class or that would have been a problem.

 

‘Ok class, settle down please. My name is Mr Howard and I am your teacher for music this ye-’

 

‘Sorry I’m late’ said a slightly out of breath voice from the door. Josh looked up from his desk and immediately regretted it. There standing in the doorway was fucking Tyler Joseph, of course. Josh internally groaned while the teacher started talking to Tyler again. He took his phone out of his pocket and quickly texted Brendon and Dallon while Mr Howard talked to the Tyler. 

 

spooky jim: GUYS TYLER JOSPH IS IN MY MUSIC CLASS

 

spooky jim: GUYS PLS HELP OH GOD WAT AM I GONA DO

 

dadlon: wow josh

 

dadlon: i am sorry

 

dadlon: im so

 

dadlon: so

 

dadlon: so

 

dadlon: so

 

beebo: so

 

spooky jim: ok well thanks guys for all the motivating help

 

spooky jim: BUT SRSLY

 

spooky jim: HELP

 

beebo: well josh

 

beebo: it looks like youre just gonna have to deal with it

 

beebo: mr howard dosnt like to change the seats cos he cant remember names very well

 

beebo: so..

 

spooky jim: oh shit

 

dadlon: have fun josh

 

beebo: lol

 

spooky jim: ill see you losers after class

 

spooky jim: (-_-)

 

beebo: :^)

 

He was distracted by his name being called out by the teacher.

 

‘...Josh over there. There is a seat next to him; you can sit there.’

 

What? Was Tyler Joseph coming to sit next to him? Fuck. Now he would have to be partners with him for the rest of the term. He just hoped that Mr Howard would change his mind and let them swap seats after the holidays.

 

Tyler sauntered over to Josh, flashed him a quick smirk and then dropped into his seat, dumping his books on the desk with a loud bang and then staring at the teacher with a bored expression.

 

‘Ok class. Now remember your seats as you will be in them for the rest of the year. The person sitting next to you will be your partner for the rest of the year as well, so maybe you should get to know them. Ok, let’s begin.’

 

Fuck. Josh stared at Tyler in horror and it seemed that that look was reflected on Tyler’s face as well, perhaps with more anger in Josh’s eyes and confusion in Tyler’s eyes. Now he was pissed. His day had been going just fine and now it was ruined because he was sitting next to the boy he hated most in the entire fucking world.

 

Josh broke the stare and glared silently at his desk for the rest of the lesson, thankful that there was no partner work to be done this lesson. He only dreaded next week’s lesson and as soon as the bell rung, he jumped up and ran out of the classroom.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

That evening, while Josh was laying on his bed scrolling on his phone ( and definitely not thinking about tyler joseph in any way), he got a message from Brendon.

 

beebo: dude

 

beebo: waddup

 

beebo: why you not answering

 

spooky jim: i literally got ur text 2 secs ago bren

 

spooky jim: chill 

 

beebo: lol

 

beebo: secs

 

spooky jim: wat do you need im tryna do important stuff

 

beebo: wat like thinking about how much u really most definitely hate and detest tyler joseph  
beebo: ;)

 

spooky jim: no actually 

 

spooky jim: i was about to do my maths homework 

 

spooky jim: but thanks for reminding me

 

spooky jim: (-_-)

 

Beebo: well ok 

 

Beebo: i still am NOT convinced about this i hate tyler thing

 

Beebo: and no one can change my mind

 

spooky jim: yo bren just go to bed or something

 

spooky jim: i couldnt give a shit wat you think of me

 

Beebo: ooooooo ma boys getting sassy

 

Beebo: (*cough* when you think that your bestest frend in the world doesnt know about stuff ;) *cough*)

 

Beebo: am i right

 

Beebo: well duh 

 

spooky jim: no

 

spooky jim: whatever

 

spooky jim: u no i don't care

 

spooky jim: see you tomorrow man

 

beebo: you bet 

 

beebo: ;)


	2. this is not what you're supposed to see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola mí amigos.  
> First of all, THANK YOU so much for leaving kudos and stuff, it's really cool to see people that actually like my stuff.
> 
> Second of all, I’m listening to this sick dude called BRY and I saw him open at the TØP concert earlier in November and I have literally fallen in love with him and his music. Anyways, just thought you should check him out.
> 
> I’m sorry, not sure if I’m gonna be updating regularly but I’ll let you know if I will. Anyways, hope you enjoy this attempt at a fic, please keep on reading and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> oh, and things are gonna get pretty deep towards the end.
> 
> |-/

Tyler’s P.O.V.

 

His day had started off pretty well. For one thing, he had seen his best friend/girlfriend Jenna for the first time since the beginning of the summer. Also, his friends still thought he was the coolest guy in school, which boosted his morale a bit, even though they only really liked a mask, it wasn’t the real Tyler they liked.

 

It was their lunch period, and he and his basketball friends were sitting at their table in the middle of the cafeteria. The gentle lull of the conversation they were having was making Tyler feel more tired than he actually was. He made no attempt to rejoin the chatting, and instead blocked them all out and listened to his own thoughts instead.

 

Thinking about nothing in particular just seemed to make his brain feel even heavier and mind become even more numb. He raised his eyes to the surroundings around him, and let his eyes slide over the many faces in the dining hall. 

 

Everyone he looked was doing their own thing, not noticing or caring about who might be watching them. Most people were eating their lunches or speaking with the people who were sitting beside them. If fact, everyone was, except one person.

 

As Tyler looked in his direction, he was broken out of his reverie by the boy staring back at him. Tyler was surprised for a second, why would someone be staring at him? But then he realised that this boy was staring at him with hatred in his eyes, and Tyler was genuinely confused about what he had done to make this boy hate him so much. 

 

Tyler racked his brains trying to think of the name of the boy who was staring at him with dislike. He knew it started with a J…., Jasper? No, um….

 

‘ Hey Josh, you gonna eat?’ one of the people he was sitting with said loudly to him.

 

Josh. 

 

Huh.

 

Tyler really liked that name. Josh. But he was straight wasn’t he? I mean, all his friends would hate him if he wasn’t, and his parents would kick him out of the house if he wasn’t. Tyler, captain of the basketball team, could never be gay. No, he most certainly, definitely, was not gay in any way.  


He broke himself out of his thoughts and refocused on the conversation in front of him until the bell went, signalling the end of lunch. He stood up and heaved his bag onto his shoulders and started off down the hall with the rest of his teammates. He wasn’t really listening to what they were saying, and instead just trailed beside them. As they turned into the Maths corridor, Tyler suddenly realised that, no, he didn’t have maths next, unlike the rest of his friends. He had music, on the other side of the school.

 

‘Shit.’ 

 

‘Man, what’s up?’

 

‘I have Music now, not Maths.’ said Tyler in a frustrated voice and started to run.

 

His friends watched him go, and once he was gone, they started into their classroom. 

 

‘What kind of dumbo takes music anyways?’

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Music was a disaster.

 

He was late and made a scene at the front of the classroom by arriving huffing and puffing in the door. He quickly rearranged his face to his usual smirk before he entered the classroom and unconvincingly apologized to the teacher taking the lesson. He looked around quickly and spotted the boy who had been staring at him during lunch at the back, on his phone, typing very fast, it seemed. He dragged his attention back to the teacher, who was explaining the things he had already said to the rest of the class.

 

‘Oh look at Josh over there. There is a seat next to him; you can sit there.’

 

Tyler’s head whips round to face the mocha eyes of the boy at the back of the classroom. Never dropping his smirk, he saunters over to Josh and bangs his books on his desk loudly and dropped his bag on the floor. He was still quite unsure about why this boy hated him so much, it wasn’t like he had done something to him, or been rude. Maybe his friends had said something, that was a possibility. He was once again interrupted out of his thoughts by the teacher raising his voice slightly over the babble of the classroom.

 

‘Ok class. Now remember your seats as you will be in them for the rest of the year. The person sitting next to you will be your partner for the rest of the year as well, so maybe you should get to know them. Ok, let’s begin.’

 

Once again, he whipped his head around (he was going to get whiplash from doing this so often) and stared at Josh, who was his partner, and who was also staring at him with a look of hatred and shock. Tyler’s emotions betrayed him just a little and his mask slipped to reveal confusion in his eyes with just as much shock, but he quickly righted the facade and only looked away when Josh did.

 

Tyler was sneaking quick glances at Josh all the way through Music, still questioning what he had done to make this boy hate him so much, but he eventually gave up and just sneaked glances at him for no apparent reason. Although Tyler somehow wanted to get to know Josh a bit better, he was thankful that they didn’t have to do any partner work, as that would have been too awkward.

 

As the bell rung, Josh jumped up and was out of the classroom before Tyler had even stood up from his chair. Rearranging his face, he walked out of Music, and into the crowded hallway.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Tyler had never been one to seem like he was gay, or bi, or anything else. He was the basketball star, had a homophobic friendship group, had homophobic parents, and therefore could not be anything other than a straight guy. Lying in his bed that evening, he wondered what would happen if he was gay. His parents had told him that it was a great sin and that God would punish you badly if you were gay, which obviously made Tyler a small homophobic child who didn't and couldn't really think for himself. 

 

But as he got older, the people in his classes that were gay, not necessarily his friends, but people he knew of, seemed happy enough. It wasn’t like there were fireballs coming down from the heavens or anything; he was surprised when he first came to this school, but he grew to find it normal, and now his view on sexuality had changed. He was still very sure he wasn’t gay, but he definitely didn’t detest anyone who was.

 

If he was honest with himself, he had never really felt anything for Jenna, his ‘girlfriend’. I mean, sure she was pretty, and he was very lucky to have her, but he didn’t have ‘sparks’ or anything when he saw her. She knew who he really was, though, as he had known her for as long as he could remember. Their 2 families were great friends and this meant that the two of them had practically grown up together, and she was a best friend more than anything else. She had been there for him when he had the occasional panic attack or breakdown, she knew how to calm him down, and she had never told anyone that he wasn’t all he made out to be, which made her the bestest friend that anyone could have hoped for. 

 

She was also okay with the fact that they weren’t a real couple, in fact, she had suggested the idea. All his friends and relatives had been pestering for him to ‘make a move’ before anyone else had the chance to do so, and seeing that he obviously didn’t want to, she said that they could be publically known as a couple, but not really. Tyler was comfortable with this idea and gratefully accepted it.

 

Now every day of his life was pretend, and it was slowly draining him, making him tired, and somehow more prone to panic attacks. If he wasn’t in a class with Jenna when it happened, he didn’t know what he would do. It would shatter his ‘popular bad boy’ image and show the whole rest of the school who he really was; a lanky boy who would wear black skinny jeans (but couldn’t wear them as his friends would think weird things about him), a boy who actually wrote some quite deep and emotional poetry (for when things got too confusing in his mind), and who surprisingly, played the piano and ukelele. 

 

Another downside of his pretend life was the fact that people who didn’t even know him properly (*cough* josh *cough*) seemed to think he was the worst person to ever have lived. He couldn’t really blame them, though, his image was all that they ever saw, and they had no other opinion of him. 

 

He was still in his clothes when he fell asleep, his basketball shorts scratchy and his top making him too hot, but he didn’t care. All this pretending was tiring.


	3. behind my eyelids are islands of violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyler has a breakdown in music and josh has to go with him . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeyyyy guys. i'm back from the dead. i am truly sorry about the hugely long delay after the last chapter, but to be honest i just haven't had the time (GCSEs yay). thank you guys so much for all the kudos and the really nice comments, much appreciated. i hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Josh’s P.O.V.

As of late, Tyler Joseph had been taking up most of Josh’s alone thinking time. He really did want to know more about the mysterious brunet, even though he still kinda hated him.

Josh was once again in Music, and was kind of excited to try to figure out Tyler Joseph, since they were partners for the rest of the year. He was still sceptical about him though; he was still just as cocky as he always seemed when he was around his many apparent friends, but Josh knew that he shouldn’t really be making assumptions about who were and were not Tyler Joseph’s friends.

When the teacher had told the class what the lesson plan was, and had motioned for them to turn and face their partners to start on the activity, Josh felt kinda nervous. Tyler spun lazily in his chair to turn towards him, once again with his trademark smirk on his face, but laced with a slight look of trepidation is his warm chocolate eyes. Josh shot Tyler a quick smile and then looked back down at the desk and started talking about the activity. 

Why on earth did he just smile at Tyler Joseph? That just wasn't something that you do when you hate them someone. Or at least dislike someone. Whatever, he didn’t want to think about it too much.

Josh was surprised though, Tyler seemed to be participating in whatever they were talking about and was at least trying to make an effort. 

Usually Tyler was the confident, arrogant type that didn’t care about anything, but in the second music class they had together, Josh noticed that, although he was making an effort, Tyler was on edge, and slightly less ‘Tyler-ish’ than he was most of the time. His eyes kept darting around the room before stopping for a few seconds to linger on Josh’s face so that he could listen to what Josh was saying, and then sweeping the room again. 

At one point, Josh had just finished talking when Tyler, with a frantic sort of look in his eyes that had replaced the cool and confident facade, stood up very suddenly and bolted from the music classroom into the hallway without a word. The teacher, evidently very confused about what had just taken place in his class, asked Josh if he wouldn’t mind going to find Tyler, to which Josh reluctantly said yes. 

He walked out of the classroom and realised that he had no idea where on earth the boy had vanished to. He started off by just jogging through the hallways of the school, but he soon realised that this way of trying to find Tyler was pointless. He walked to the bathroom that was closest to the music classroom and poked his head through the door.

Inside the bathroom, there was one stall that was closed, but not locked, as if the person was in a hurry to get in there, and Josh could’ve sworn he heard very, very quiet sobs coming from that cubicle. He slowly stepped forward and said quietly,

‘Tyler?’

The sobs immediately stopped. 

It was silent in the bathroom now, and Josh was unsure of what to do with himself. He was in the same bathroom as the boy he had hated since forever but who he was somewhat curious about, while that same boy was quietly breathing very fast in the cubicle in front of him. Very fast actually.

‘Tyler?’, he called again, ‘Tyler, it’s me, Josh. Hey, uh, dude, are you okay?’

No response.

‘Tyler, I’m going to come in now, don’t freak out, okay?’

He never really considered that fact that Tyler Joseph was already freaking out and had been for the past 10 minutes.

Josh slowly made his way into the cubicle and he saw Tyler sitting on the floor against the wall with tear tracks down his face, and red, puffy eyes that were still shining with tears. Tyler didn’t even look up as Josh entered the cubicle, standing awkwardly in the small space. The first thing that Josh noticed was how the boy sitting below him was rather violently shaking, and the second thing was that he was still breathing really quite fast.

Josh had had enough experience to know that Tyler was in the middle of a panic attack, which would explain the strange behaviour in the music classroom, 20 minutes beforehand. Josh knew that he had to find a way to get Tyler to calm down and breathe, otherwise it could become serious.

Reluctantly, he slid his back down the wall and sat scrunched up beside him, being careful not to touch any part of him in case it made him more uncomfortable. Not knowing what to do, Josh said, 

‘Tyler, look at me.’

Tyler slowly turned his body slightly so that he was facing Josh and looked him straight in the eye. Now would probably not be the best time to mention how wonderfully brown this boy’s eyes were, how much they reminded Josh of chocolate, and in thinking this, Josh was momentarily stunned into silence. 

Without thinking, Josh reached over and, tentatively, wrapped his arms around Tyler. Feeling him freeze for a second made Josh rethink his decision and wonder why on earth he felt compelled to do this, but before he could pull his arms from around the boy, Tyler melted back into Josh’s arms, and slowly rested his head against Josh’s shoulder, while all the time tears were running silently down his face. 

His breathing had improved, but still not enough, and so Josh quietly murmured, 

‘Hey, you’re okay now, just keep breathing okay? Here, do it with me, one breath in,’ - Josh took a deep breath - ‘and out again. In, out, in, out. Okay?’

The two boys stayed like that for a few minutes, with Tyler resting his head on Josh’s shoulder while Josh, feeling slightly awkward, was holding the other boy. When the sobs finally quieted down and his breathing became normal again, Josh pulled his arms from around Tyler, but didn’t get up and leave, he simply sat there next to Tyler until the other boy spoke up.

‘Josh, why did you help me? I mean, it’s not like you’re my friend, you seem to hate me, and I don’t really know why.’

When Josh didn’t respond, Tyler said again, ‘ I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here- I have to go, - I’m sorry -’ and he started to stand up, brushing against Josh’s knee in the process.

‘Tyler wait.’ Tyler sat down again, because Josh’s voice seemed so vulnerable and sorry, and Tyler couldn’t help but sit down again.

Josh took some time to think about it and said back to Tyler, ‘I don’t think I hate you anymore. You aren’t as bad as I thought you were, and I’m sorry for judging you before I even talked to you. Seeing you like this has made me realise that you aren’t all you make out to be. I’m sorry.’ Josh hung his head low, feeling ashamed. ‘I thought that you were just like all your friends, going to parties, getting drunk and all that, but I guess not. You’re different Tyler, and, well, I don’t think it would be hard to be friends with you.’ He looked up with a small smile, to find Tyler smiling back at him.

‘Yeah, I don’t think it would be hard to be friends with you either, ’ he said. After a moment of silence, he spoke again.

‘You are the only person apart from Jenna who knows the real me, even if you just found out by accident. It’s hard to pretend, and sometimes it just gets too much, and I have break downs like these. I want to be friends, but you are gonna have pretend that you still hate me, otherwise - god - I don’t even know what will happen, but it won’t be good. I’m sorry that I put you through all this but I do want to be friends. You are kinda cool Josh,’ he said, bumping his shoulder against the other boys.

Josh laughed, thankful that Tyler didn’t reject his offer of friendship, and he also felt honoured because he was now one of two people that knew the real Tyler Joseph, behind the mask, and that Tyler trusted him with it was pretty astounding. He definitely didn’t hate Tyler anymore; you could even call them friends now and Josh felt a little lighter because of that. He promised Tyler he would keep his secret and smiled at him one more time.

Deciding their chat was over, they both stood up in the cramped space, and headed out of the cubicle. They walked back to the deserted music classroom to get their bags (the lesson had already finished) and walked off to their next classes after saying goodbye and see you tomorrow to each other timidly. 

Josh walked off to his next lesson, looking back over his shoulder at Tyler and smiling to himself as he went. Today wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be, and neither was Tyler. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After trying ( and eventually giving up) on his homework that was spread across his messy desk, Josh’s thoughts drifted back to Tyler. He was even more curious to know why Tyler was in that position of not being able to have real friends because of his reputation as a bad boy, and wondered if he could help in anyway to try and stop the breakdowns or even just be there for Tyler to talk to. He wasn't one of the best talkers but he was good at listening and wanted to be there for Tyler. 

He was momentarily excited about seeing Tyler tomorrow but his good mood deflated when he realised that their friendship was a secret and that no one could know; he couldn't even tell his two closest (and only) friends Brendon and Dallon. 

He supposed that was probably for the best, as Brendon had one of the loudest mouths he knew of and that would not be so good if the whole school suddenly found out that Tyler Joseph was not at all a bad boy and was actually just a normal boy with insecurities like everyone else. 

After some more thinking about his surprisingly happy day, he went to sleep feeling content for the first time in a while.


	4. take me back to the basics and the simple life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> their music project begins and the struggle of remaining in a secret friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well looks who's back from the dead again. i stg i can't do anything.  
> anyway, here it is, hope you enjoy and all that. your kudos and comments are really appreciated and thank you to all the people who have already done so! 
> 
> title - ease by troye sivan

Tyler's POV

On the way back to his house yesterday, Tyler would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous or worried. Because he most definitely was. Telling someone else about your deepest secret wasn't the easiest thing to do, even if it wasn't on purpose. Tyler didn't even mean for that person to find out, but when Tyler had a panic attack and ran to the bathroom to find quiet, Josh had followed him and, surprisingly, managed to calm him down. It was usually only Jenna who was able to do that. 

It was the way in which Josh managed to calm him down that surprised him the most. Jenna always sat beside him and rubbed his back, never getting too close or having too much contact. It was different with Josh. When he realised that Tyler was having a panic attack, he sat down next to him and made Tyler look into Josh's eyes. 

Josh's eyes were the most beautiful things he had ever seen. The colour of them resembled mocha and the concern for Tyler was shown clearly beneath the warm brown colour that made Tyler want to just melt into them. The only problem was that Josh was a boy. And so was Tyler. But he didn't want to think about that right now. 

Josh then proceeded to pull Tyler into a hug, which started out awkward. Tyler could feel as Josh was about to pull away and because he was secretly a sap and didn't want Josh to go away, he rested his head on the other boy’s shoulder, preventing him from pulling away. It was comfortable and Tyler could feel Josh's heartbeat racing as they both breathed in and out together, Josh trying to get Tyler to calm down. 

It did work and Tyler now had one more person that knew about him. He could trust Josh and although he didn't really know him that well, he was keen to get to know Josh and was glad that Josh was easy to become friends with. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day at school, Tyler could only hope that Josh remembered that he could not make any sort of contact with Tyler. It might jeopardise his reputation as well as Josh's and he wouldn't want that. 

When he got to school, he immediately headed over to where his friendship group usually hung out and greeted all his mates with his usual smirk and relaxed attitude. He quickly sneaked a glance around to see if Josh had arrived yet. In the corner of the room, sat with his two friends, was Josh, and as Tyler locked eyes with him, Josh smiled quickly and looked away as soon as he returned the smile. Tyler returned to the conversation around him, sneaking glances at Josh every so often and sometimes meeting his gaze. 

Tyler really did like Josh's smile. Even if it was small, it seemed to light up a room and it made Tyler feel warm inside. The way his eyes crinkled at the sides was the cutest thing ever and when he laughed his tongue poked out from between his teeth, which made Tyler want to run up to him and hug him. But once again the problem was that he couldn't have these sorts of thoughts about another boy. He wasn't gay. He just couldn't be. He knew what would happen if he was and it wasn't something that he wanted to experience. Except he was getting feelings for a boy he barely knew and who he had told his secret to. 

The bell rung, and Tyler couldn't wait until after lunch when he had music. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh's POV

Not interacting with Tyler the whole day was proving to be quite difficult, and the only time that he had really had any contact with him was before registration when they had shared secret smiles and glances. He was now just waiting for Music when he would have an excuse to talk to Tyler. 

His friends had noticed that something was off. Josh had been more quiet than usual today, which was because of the lack of remarks and insults about Tyler Joseph. 

‘What do you think’s gotten into Josh? He literally hasn't complained about Tyler Joseph once today. It's weird. ’ Brendon muttered to Dallon who was frowning in Josh's direction, obviously wondering the same thing. 

‘I'm not sure, to be honest with you Bren. I think he's okay though, he seems to be smiling a lot more.’ Dallon replied, ‘ I'm just as clueless as you are.’ 

‘You know I can hear you guys, right? And don't worry, I'm okay, just a little tired. I have really been able to sleep very well lately.’

Josh wasn't actually lying when he said he was tired. He had been up most the night thinking about the day's events and, well, basically Tyler Joseph. 

Even though they had become friends yesterday, he still wanted to know more about him, he was still curious as to who this boy was. And he was also kinda mesmerised by his deep chocolate eyes that lit up when he smiled, he wanted to run his fingers through his hair and–

He did want to, but he wanted to be friends with Tyler first. He knew that Tyler would never feel the same way anyway, being on the basketball team and with his reputation, he was known for being straight, but not necessarily homophobic. 

Josh, however, was bi. He also knew that his friends were both bi too. This small fact didn't bother him at all though, as, although it might have been oblivious to Brendon, Dallon was so crushing on him; it was pretty obvious to anyone else and Josh wondered when B was going to notice. Josh thought it was cute though, but he did sometimes feel like he was third-wheeling. 

The end of lunch came fast enough and Josh couldn't wait to leave his friends and head to Music. 

Entering the classroom, he saw that Tyler wasn't there yet, and so he sat down in his usual seat and played with a pencil until he noticed the boy come through the door. 

Tyler sat down next to Josh and dumped his bag beside his chair, shooting him a fleeting smile. 

‘Ok class, we are going to start working on the pairs projects today. The person seated next to you will be your partner and I’m going to come round with what project you will be doing.’

As the teacher started walking around the classroom handing out the sheets of paper, he spoke again.

‘This project is going to be three weeks long and may require you to work on your project outside of school, so make sure you get to know your partners well.’

‘Hey Josh,’ he turned to face Tyler, who whispered shyly while the teacher was still talking, ‘Do you think that I could maybe, um, like, get your number?’

Josh stared at him.

‘Like only if you want to, I mean, just for the project, you know.’ Tyler said in a rushed voice, stumbling over his words.

‘Sure, of course you can’ Josh replied with a big smile, feeling surprised and also honoured that Tyler Joseph had just asked for his number, trying to suppress himself from jumping up and down. He realised that Tyler was writing his number down on a small scrap of paper that he had ripped out from his notepad, and so Josh rushed to do the same. 

They exchanged the pieces of paper and turned their attention to the project on the desks in front of them. 

‘Wow. It looks like it's gonna take some time.’ Tyler said, looking over to Josh. ‘The teacher was right; we are gonna have to do this school or something because I can't really do it at lunch or anything because, y’know, my friends and all.’ he trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. 

‘That's ok. So when do you wanna meet up, I can do whenever so whatever time you’re free is good.’ said Josh. 

‘Im really sorry Josh, but I’m not sure when I'll be free. I can text you and we can arrange something from there, but with my friends, and all the basketball, it might be hard, y’know?’ Tyler replied, looking at Josh with eyes that you could fall into, they were so deep.

Josh dragged himself from his thoughts and looked at Tyler with a sad look in his eyes and said quietly, ‘It's ok, I understand. You text me when you can come round, or I can come round to your house. Whatever works.’

‘Cool, glad we’ve got that sorted.’ Tyler said with a big smile. 

The rest of the lesson went by in a flash, and before they knew it, it was the end of the school day. 

Josh was walking out of the school gates when he spotted Tyler with his friends, a conversation going on that Tyler didn't seem to be participating in, instead staring into space, with a blank look on his face.

As if Tyler had heard Josh's thoughts, he turned his head to meet with Josh's gaze and smiled slightly before gesturing subtly towards his friends, and waving before turning back to them. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh walked home and was starting to feel tired. The moment he was in the door, he kicked off his shoes and slung his bag off his shoulder, dumping it in the hallway. He trudged up to his own room, thankful no one was home yet and threw himself onto his bed, face first in the pillows. He fell asleep quickly and didn't even notice when his mother poked her head in to check that he was alive. She smiled and closed the door softly behind her as she exited his room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: slurring, (another) panic attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i'm back. Can I just say once again thank you so much to all the people who have left kudos and comments; they really make my day :) 
> 
> well, another chapter up at last!  
> I still don't have a schedule so I'm sorry about that but school is taking up a lot of time. I am definitely going to keep continuing this story, and this chapter and the next chapter were originally going to be one, but there was so much stuff I wanted to put in this one I just had to split them.
> 
> hope you enjoy :)

Tyler’s POV

Tyler was rudely awoken for school by his brother barging into his room and pulling his duvet off him, making him cry out in discomfort because it was a surprisingly cold day. This immediately put him in a bad mood. Great. He threw on his clothes and grabbed his bag and a slice of toast before heading outside to catch the bus.

He was the only one apart from Jenna in his friendship group that lived in this neighbourhood and took the bus, so he was there waiting for the bus with Jenna. 

‘Ty, what's wrong? You seem a bit off today.’

Tyler huffed and said, ‘ Sorry Jenna, I'm just in a really bad mood today, my brother woke me up in the worst way possible, and now I just feel really weird.’ 

‘That fine Ty, don't worry and if you need to talk we can at lunch, just try not to let it go like last time, ok?’

Tyler smiled at Jenna. He was so lucky to have a friend like her She was so comforting to him and she always gave the best advice. ‘Ok.’

The bus came and they went to school. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler was once again excited for music. He wanted to see Josh again, and this was the only time he could without being given weird looks. He was still feeling on edge and slightly jittery but he waved it off, blaming it on his brother waking him up that morning. 

He was sat with his group at their table in the middle of the cafeteria, and Jenna was sitting close next to him, rubbing the small of his back, like when he was panicked. It did help kinda, but it didn't really do much. He quickly flicked his eyes to where Josh and his mates were sitting at their table in the corner. He locked eyes wth Josh and shot him a quick smile, which was returned immediately by the other. He turned back to his own table and realised he didn't feel as bad as he had a minute ago, and thought ‘What if Josh helped me to calm down? I mean, he's done it before, and his smile is definitely the brightest thing in the room. I'm not gonna try and deny it anymore because it's true.’ 

He still couldn't wait for music. 

He broke off from that train of thought and paid attention to the conversation happening before him. 

‘They're just weirdos though, they shouldn't be allowed to live, they don't deserve to live.’ one of the guys on his teams said forcefully. 

‘Yeah, I agree. Fags shouldn't exist, it's against Gods will anyway.‘ another said. Jenna sat quietly next to Tyler, not saying anything and staring at the ground. She, although not gay herself, had never been opposed to it, and really didn't like it whenever someone slurred or offended homosexuals. Tyler knew this because she had told him once, when they were having a deep conversation in Jenna's bedroom about sexuality and all that. At the time, Tyler had known that he was completely straight, he had always dated girls anyway, and of course his parents had been pretty influential on that topic, drilling into him from a young age that gayness was a bad thing. But now, Tyler wasn't sure about anything. He knew that he still like girls, they were pretty, but getting to know Josh was starting to oppose his thought about being completely straight. There were other sexualities weren't there? Like bi, he could be bi. But he didn't know. He was unsure. And it was making him stressed out. (pun intended sorry not sorry)

There was also the fact that his friends were openly homophobic, and often bullied the few in his school, didn't help his situation at all. If he did ever openly decide that he liked boys, he would lose his status in the school as a respected and kinda feared, but ultimately powerful person, who was the leader of the popular group and captain of the basketball team. He would have no one, except maybe Jenna and maybe Josh. His parents would hate him. His siblings would hate him. His school would hate him. He could feel the tears gathering behind his eyes, and he could feel his heart speed up and his breath begin to quicken. Gathering his courage and rearranging his face so that it showed no weakness, he stood up, quickly tossing an excuse about needing the toilet to his friends, which garnered a strange look from Jenna, and took his bag with him. He was almost speed walking to - he didn't even know where - and as calmly as he could and without showing the tears that had sprung to his eyes, he walked into the toilets closest to the music classroom. 

Finding an empty cubicle, he sat down and locked himself into it, dissolving into tears just as the bell signalling the end of lunch rang. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh’s POV

When Tyler had looked in his direction at lunch he immediately found his eyes and smiled when Tyler saw him. The other boy immediately returned the smile, full of warmth and kindness, which made Josh feel really bubbly inside, weirdly.

Josh waited until the bell rung to signal the end of lunch, and immediately made his way to the music classroom, understanding that Tyler needed to keep pretending they weren't friends and avoiding where he sat with his group of friends. He arrived before Tyler, but that always happened so it didn't really bother him. 

Even when the teacher walked in the room and started to take the register, he assumed that Tyler had been held behind by his friends or something. He got out his ideas for the project that they were working on, as they didn't have much time to work on it. 

The project was to write a song. Any song. It could be any genre, using any instruments, and the students could either perform their song or record it. Josh was excited about this project because he could play drums. Even though he was part of the kinda weird group, he was a killer on the drums, and, if he said so himself, quite good at it as well. He wondered if Tyler could play any instruments. Josh hoped that he could, otherwise they would be a bit stuck. 

His mind wondering back to Tyler, he wondered where the other boy had gotten to. He was already 10 minutes late to class, which, although it was unsurprising that he slacked off class, was abnormal as he never missed a lesson and was never usually late. 

He quickly stood up and motioned to the teacher that he was going to the bathroom. He had small inkling about Tyler whereabouts, but he hoped that he was wrong - he really hoped he was wrong. 

Josh was walking purposefully along the corridor to the nearest bathroom to the music room. He swung the door open quietly and poked his head around the door. 

There was only one locked cubicle, and there were small sobs emanating from it. 

‘Tyler? Um, hey buddy, I’m gonna try and unlock the door ok?’

There was no reply, but Josh went ahead with his door-unlocking anyway. 

Finding a coin in his pocket, he twisted the lock from the outside, slowing opening the cubicle door … 

… to reveal a Tyler curled up with his back against the wall, making himself as small as possible and breathing heavily, quiet tears streaming down his face. 

‘Oh, Tyler…’ Josh said, unsure of what to say. 

So, instead of talking, he crouched down and gently placed his hands on the other boys shoulders and, once again, told him to look into his eyes. Tyler did so, staring into his eyes like it was the only thing keeping him grounded, and Josh knew in that moment that there already was a flicker of something. He didn't know what's was, but he knew that he would never get tired of looking into Tyler's eyes, the chocolate brown mixed with flecks of darker brown as well. He could get lost in them and would willingly stare into them forever. 

He slowly realised that Tyler that stopped breathing altogether. He quickly broke the stare and looked at the wall behind Tyler's ear, thankfully hearing the other boys breathing return to normal. 

‘Thanks, I guess.’ Tyler said, ‘You're becoming a professional.’ he joked. Ah good, the old Tyler was back. Josh giggled, feeling relieved that he was okay now, and Tyler smiled warmly. Josh carefully stood up in the cramped space and offered Tyler a hand so that he could get up too. 

Tyler took it and, not so gracefully, heaved himself up, using Josh's hand to pull his whole body off the ground. Tyler's hand was soft though, softer than Josh would've thought. But as soon as Tyler was upright, he let go and leant against the wall again, closing his eyes briefly with a small frown on his face, obviously thinking about whatever had made him stress out so much. 

Josh asked quietly, ‘Do you wanna talk about it?’

‘Maybe later’ came a soft reply, and that got Josh thinking. There was a short pause before,

‘Doyouwannacomeovertomine,wecouldskiptherestofmusicandplaymariokartinstead?’ Josh blurted out faster than he intended to. 

Tyler opened his eyes quickly, full of excitement, and quickly nodded his answer, much to Josh's relief. 

‘Ok good, let’s go then.’ 

Josh led the way out of the bathroom, into the hallway and out the front door, glancing over at Tyler every few seconds just to check he was still ok, and every time Tyler would smile back at him, with an excited look in his eye. The two boys made it to the main gate without getting caught, and looked at each other with mad grins on their faces, both excited at the thrill of skipping, and at the anticipation of mario kart, I mean, who doesn't get excited for mario kart?

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler's POV

His eyes, oh God his eyes. It was like staring into his soul, but, to be perfectly honest, there weren't many words to describe what Tyler was feeling. When he looked into Josh's eyes he couldn't breathe for a few seconds, and as soon as Josh realised this he had looked away, breaking the eye contact and letting Tyler regain his breath. 

He made a quick joke to break the tension and also to make Josh smile. he just wanted to see Josh smile again.

When Josh offered his hand to Tyler, he took it without a second thought, not at all thinking about how soft his hand was, how gently Josh helped him up off the floor, and when he was finally standing, he realised they were both standing relatively close together in a toilet cubicle. 

Josh was too close to him, and Tyler was going to do something stupid if he didn't move away, so he did the first thing that came into his mind and leant back against the wall and closed his eyes, frowning, trying to distance himself from the other boy. 

‘Do you wanna talk about it?’ came Josh's soft voice. 

Tyler replied with a small, ‘Maybe later.’ 

Thankfully Josh got the message that Tyler didn't want to talk about it, and so didn't ask Tyler anymore about it. Tyler was grateful for that. He was grateful for the way that Josh respected his problems and didn't push him to talk about it. 

After a short pause, Josh blurted out a long stream of words. Tyler, trying to process it all, only caught the words ‘my house’ and ‘mario kart’, but that was enough for Tyler. 

He snapped his eyes open and nodded vigorously, the excitement showing clearly in his eyes. Tyler noticed the other boy visibly relax, and then he said something about them leaving. Tyler followed him out of the cubicle, and into the hallway. Josh looked over at Tyler every few seconds with a sparkle in his eye and Tyler could’ve sworn that he forgot how to breathe multiple times in that hallway. 

To their relief, they made it to the gate without being caught, and Tyler thought that Josh could not have looked happier with his smile lighting up his whole face. What Josh didn’t know about Tyler was one thing; he was the best at Mario Kart.


	6. you can run away with me, anytime you want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooooo what's going to happen when they go back to Josh's house????? lol just a bit of mario kart :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol. it me. back at it again. not even going to bother explaining my long absence, cos it's going to happen a lot, but it's mainly school, work, and school. :)
> 
> hope you enjoy this (slightly shorter) chapter, but i felt like i kinda needed to upload. 
> 
> title from summertime by mcr

Tyler's POV

Josh's house was nice. And also, surprisingly close to his own. It was big, but not too big, and although it was smaller than Tyler's house, he liked it better. They had a front garden, which was well kept, and a driveway that had no cars in it; hopefully that meant that no parents were home.

Josh opened the front door with his keys and silently stepped into his house. Tyler followed behind him, mimicking his movements and trying to be as quiet as possible. Josh evidently didn't know if anyone was home, and whispered this to Tyler. 

‘Hey Ty, just wait here. I just need to check if anyone's home. ’ 

And with that he disappeared quickly up the stairs, leaving Tyler with an tingly feeling in his chest. He realised that he liked that nickname; no one else called him Ty, and it made Josh special.

Tyler stood awkwardly in the living room, and, since he had nothing better to do, he decided to look around at the pictures lining the walls of the Dun family house. There were many of Josh and, who he assumed to be, his siblings, but Josh was all that Tyler looked at. He was so cute and adorable when he was younger, and he looked so happy in all the photos. 

He was still looking when Josh came back down the stairs and he jumped back from the wall, trying not to look suspicious. 

‘Seriously Ty?’ Josh joked with a relaxed smile on his face. There go those damn butterflies again. ‘I really don't mind if you look at the photos, just don't look too closely at me. Ugh, I looked weird when I was small.’ he said. 

‘Nah, you were kinda cute.’ 

Josh froze, and Tyler let out a small smile that Josh couldn't see. 

‘Um, well - I don't - um. Do you, um, want to go upstairs now?’ the other boy managed to splutter out. 

‘Sure, lead the way’ Tyler replied, with a smirk on his face and with more confidence than he’d had previously. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh's POV

He raced upstairs as quietly as he could. 

He had 2 reasons. One, he really did need to check whether his parents were at home, but they probably weren’t because there were no cars in the drive and they usually worked until late most nights anyway. 

The second reason was that his room was a mess. A big mess. It was exactly like he had left it this morning; clothes all over the floor, his books not on the shelf, and it was generally the messiest it could be. 

Knowing that he only had a few minutes, he assessed the situation, and quickly ran around his room, picking up his dirty laundry (ayyyy) and dumping it in the wash basket. When he had done that, he gathered up his books and other random items that had made their way onto his floor and either shoved them under his bed or placed them haphazardly onto his shelf. 

By the time Josh was finished, he was slightly out of breath from all the running, and wiped his forehead. He looked around and was satisfied with the job he had done; it was neater than it was before anyway. 

With one last look around his room, he nodded and ran out of his room and hurtled down the stairs. He arrived in the corner of his living room, slightly out of breath and stuttered to a halt at the bottom of the stairs, trying to look like he hadn’t just ran a marathon. 

As he arrived in the living room, he saw Tyler look over towards Josh and jump back from the wall in front of him surprised. Tyler then proceeded to try and look like he hadn’t done anything wrong by rearranging his face into a bored look, and putting his hands into his pockets. 

Josh knew exactly what Tyler had been doing, because he knew the family photos from when he and his sibling were younger were hanging on that wall, and a smile crept onto his face.

‘Seriously Ty?’ he asked, liking the way the nickname rolled off his tongue and smiling as he said the words. ‘I really don't mind if you look at the photos, just don't look too closely at me. Ugh, I looked weird when I was small.’ 

He really did think he looked weird when he was smaller, and his hair, oh god, it could have been considered a crime to have such odd hair; but that was his mother’s fault he guessed.

Tyler, trying to brush off the surprise when Josh confronted him about the pictures, smirked, which Josh knew was the face Tyler wore when he was feeling confident. 

Josh could never have prepared himself for the words that can out of Tyler mouth next. 

‘Nah, you were kinda cute.’ 

Josh froze with surprise, and he could feel a light blush starting to creep up his cheeks. Trying to recover, he managed to stutter out,

‘Um, well - I don't - um. Do you, um, want to go upstairs now?’ Jeez, that was harder to say than he thought it would be. He swallowed, trying to get rid of his dry mouth. 

‘Sure, lead the way.’

Josh turned to go up the stairs and started to climb them, with Tyler right behind him. They walked in silence, but it wasn't awkward, in fact it was quite comfortable. 

When they got to Josh's room, he spread his arms, gesturing to the room and said, ‘Welcome to my room, I guess?’

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler’s POV

Josh turned to go up the stairs and started to climb them, with Tyler right behind him. They walked in silence, but it wasn’t awkward, in fact it was quite comfortable. 

When they got to Josh’s room, the other boy spread his arms, gesturing to the room and said, 

‘Welcome to my room, I guess?’

Tyler didn’t answer, his eyes going instead to the multiple band posters around the room, and finally landing on the items of clothing that had been shoved under the bed in that minute of panic. 

Tyler smirked, but with a laugh in his eyes, and said, 

‘Under the bed, seriously?’ he chuckled. Josh blushed a light shade of pink and Tyler decided that he wanted to see Josh blush again, whatever it would take.

‘Hey,’ Josh shouted in protest but just gave up when Tyler started to full on laugh, and wouldn’t stop. 

Tyler himself didn’t even know why it was so funny, it just was, and Josh soon laughed along with Tyler. The two of them eventually ended up rolling around on the floor, trying to stop and breathe, with tears running down their faces from the exertion of laughing so hard.

When the two boys had settled down and regained their breath, Josh looked over at Tyler with such joy in his eyes that Tyler wanted to melt on the floor right there because of how happy Josh looked. He quickly averted his eyes so that Josh wouldn’t see the shock on his face and asked, 

‘Mario Kart?’ he mumbled. 

‘Heck yeah!’ came the reply from Josh, who stood up and went over to his desk to get the game. He turned his TV on and put the disc in, swiftly handing Tyler one of the controllers, and brushing Tyler’s hand as he did so, leaving him with goosebumps and a tingly feeling. 

‘Just watch out,’ Josh said with a small smirk, ‘It is well known that I am a master at this game, and I destroy anyone who tries to beat me.’

‘Just you wait.’ Tyler replied with an even larger smirk in his face. 

They started to play and Josh, although he was as good as he said he was, wasn't good enough to beat Tyler. Tyler was always one place in front of Josh, with Yoshi as his character. 

‘Lol’ Tyler said, when they had finished one of the races 

‘Lol what?’

‘Lol i'm beating your ass at this game’ he replied. 

‘Yeh ok I get it. You're better than me, you can lay off.’ Josh joked with a smile on his face. 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, in which Tyler took the opportunity to lean back and accidentally leaned into Josh, causing him to jump up in surprise and quickly sit up again, Josh said ‘I'm hungry, do you wanna go get snacks?’

‘Sure, I'm feeling kinda hungry too.’

The two boys went down stairs and Josh grabbed a pack of oreos from the cupboard, as well as two cans of red bull. Looking to Tyler, he asked, ‘Anything else?’

Tyler answered with a shake of his head, and they went back up to Josh's room. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two boys ended up not playing Mario Kart, and instead felt content enough to just lay on the floor, their heads fairly close together, staring up at Josh's ceiling. 

‘Hey Ty?’

‘Hmm?’

‘Do you wanna - um - sleep over? You could ask your parents and I could sleep on the floor and -’

‘Hey Josh, chill, I'd love to sleep over. And no you won't sleep on the floor, I can, don't worry about it.’

‘Ok cool, and if we are going to argue about it, let's just sleep in the same bed, I mean, if that's ok with you?’

‘Sure it is’ Tyler replied with another small smile on his face. 

‘Cool.’

‘Cool.’


	7. and boy did they have fun, behind the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of joshler fluff and a new ship added to our story (ooooo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hey guys
> 
> as you can tell, i am now a certified professional procrastinator, and take great delight in putting things off. i literally have had also next to no time to do any sort of writing because of exams and life in general. 
> 
> in this chapter, i have added ryden, mostly by request from blackcarousel (go check her out) and for those of you who are not aware, i previously intended for dallon and brendon to get together but i have changed that now. i also edited that chapter so it now says dallon is crushing on bren but bren isn't crushing back.
> 
> big big big shoutout goes to blackcarousel who literally said 'ok we are going to pret and writing your fic cos you havent updated in 40 days'. she also kinda wrote half of this so credit goes to her.
> 
> once again i dont have a updating schedule but i never did and tbh probs never will. however, updates will be more frequent now because i have my last exam tomorrow and then i can focus a bit more on this.
> 
> as always, comments and kudos are much appreciated
> 
> xx

After playing endless rounds of Mario kart, with Josh losing nearly almost all of them, both boys were quite hungry and, quite frankly, tired. Even though they had done nothing that afternoon but play video games on the floor of Josh's room, there were yawns appearing on both boys’ faces, which were becoming harder and harder to hide from each other. 

After Josh had done a particularly long and big yawn, Tyler turned his head and smirked at him.

‘What? What did I do?’

‘It's just you're - it doesn't matter, don't worry.’ he said, changing his smirk to an easygoing smile. 

Josh didn't want to press the matter any further, he was too tired to be bothered anyway, and asked Tyler if he wanted to order some pizza, as it was getting late. 

‘Yeh I'd love to, I'm starving.’ Tyler replied, suddenly perking up at the mention of food. Josh noticed this and smiled, realising that he was thinking exactly the same thing. He got up from the floor and made his way downstairs, with Tyler trailing behind him. 

He ordered two margarita pizzas and asked Tyler if he wanted to eat ice cream. 

‘What? Before pizza? Are you crazy? Who does that?’

‘I do that, c’mon, it'll be fun!’ 

Tyler reluctantly gave in to Josh’s request and followed him to the freezer. Josh went over to the cutlery drawer and pulled out two spoons, waving them in the air with a happy childish grin on his face.

Tyler laughed and realised that Josh was amazing. He was funny and not to mention adorable and cute as hell. Fuck it, he thought. He liked Josh. A lot.

________________________________________________________________________________

meanwhile...

Brendon’s POV

He hated this. Fucking church camp, it was absolutely no fun. He didn’t even believe in God, as far as he was concerned. No-one here liked him and he frankly couldn’t be himself. Hell, who could be Christian and bi at the same time.

These thoughts were swimming around his mind as he gazed aimlessly at the wall of the church hall. Why was he here, why couldn’t he be himself, why wouldn’t his family accept him. He hated it.

When suddenly a boys face intruded his vision. Well, more like fucking god on earth, Brendon thinks to himself and jolts himself out of his reverie immediately.

“Um hey,” mystery boy said, “you seemed kind of distracted.”

“Oh, sorry,” Brendon said, “Um, are you new, I haven’t seen you around before. I’m Brendon.” brendon mentally slapped himself ‘I haven’t seen you around’ WHAT?! Brendon thought and mentally face palmed.

Mystery boy chuckled shyly and said, “Well, I’m George Ryan Ross the third, but please just call me Ryan.”

“Okay then” Brendon made a mental note to stop calling Ryan mystery boy in his head.

“So, were you forced here as well?” Ryan asked, “You look like you really don’t want to be here. I don’t really blame you though.” he said with a small smile.

Brendon nodded his head, struck speechless by this boy's beauty and his unique voice that Brendon could happily wake up to and fall asleep to each day.

“Um yeah,” Brendon replied.

‘Do you wanna go do something else, I’m going to die of boredom if I keep listening to this.’

‘Sure, I’d love to.’ Brendon replied with another small smile, still kinda shocked that he had only met this boy less than 5 mins and he was already mesmerised by him. 

Ryan took Brendon’s hand in his. Brendon felt electricity running down his spine in little sparks and shocks (cliche I know) and gasped quietly. They slipped out the back door and nobody noticed their absence. They were walking down the corridor when Ryan pulled Brendon into a small room. It was slightly dusty but Brendon did not notice the dust.

‘I usually come in here when I want to be alone; it's a good place to think.’ Ryan said. 

Brendon barely noticed what his new, unbelievably attractive friend had said. Instead, his eyes were drawn to something else in the room. Covered in a blanket was something that looked a lot like a piano, if not slightly dusty.

Brendon gasped, he ran over to the piano and practically tore the cover off. He opened the lid and let his fingers softly grace the old keyboard. The poor thing looked like it hadn’t been played in years. Ryan looked on happily at the younger boy who was so excited at the mere sight of a piano, and an old, dusty one at that. 

“You play?” He asked Brendon.

“Yeah, a little bit, I mean, I’m not that good but I really love playing.” he replied. 

‘Do you want to play?’ Ryan paused. ‘I mean, if you're uncomfortable I can look away’ 

‘No, don't worry, it’s fine.’ Brendon replied with another smile for Ryan. Wow. He must really like this guy. 

Ryan fell silent, and Brendon began to play. His finger slid over the keys as if he had been doing this his whole life, and he relished in the feeling of playing the piano once again. 

He got lost in the feeling of music flowing through his body and didn’t open his eyes once, his fingers knowing exactly where each key was and carefully gliding up and down the keyboard. He was so lost in the music that he forgot anyone was there but him. 

He then remembered the presence of the other boy in the room, and paused, finally remembering where he was and recalling the boy who was sat in the corner with his eyes wide and his face disbelieving. 

Ryan opened his mouth to speak and appeared to have no words. Brendon smiled (again) shyly and said,

‘Sorry, I kinda forgot about you for a moment there, I didn’t mean to, I promise.’

‘No, no don't worry. That was amazing.’ Ryan replied and noticed Brendon’s disbelieving face, similar to the one Ryan had been wearing only moments ago. 

‘I’m serious!’ Ryan insisted, and even if you don’t believe me, I’m going to say it. That really was amazing. You’re amazing.’ he said softly. 

Brendon felt a blush creep up his cheeks and tried to pretend that that didn’t happen. A boy ( an incredibly cute one!) had just heard him play crappy piano and then went on to call him amazing. Things like that don't just happen every day, they just don’t.

Brendon was silent for a few moments while he tried to get his blush under control, and as he looked over at Ryan, he was also looking at the floor, trying not to blush, and Brendon smiled at that. 

‘Anyway,’ Ryan’s voice broke him out of his reverie, ‘ ‘We should probably get back, y’know, people may be wondering where we are.’

‘Um, oh yeah, of course, let’s leave .’ Brendon replied to Ryan. He stood up from the piano seat and walked towards the door to the room. After getting up from his seat in the corner of the room, Ryan turned to follow him but Brendon stopped abruptly in the doorway, causing Ryan to bump into him. Brendon smirked slightly when he realised Ryan had been distracted enough not to notice where he was going. Brendon wondered what he had been thinking about.

Ryan coughed quietly, signaling for Brendon to move; there was only enough space for one person to fit through the doorway at once.

“Why did you stop?” Ryan asked tentatively, a questioning tone in his voice

“Huh? Oh nothing. No reason.” Brendon replied, suddenly slightly out of breath and not really sure why. 

That was the truth. Brendon honestly didn’t know why he had stopped. He shrugged and continued walking down the corridor. They eventually made it back to the church hall. They hadn’t said a word to each other but they still sat at the back next to each other, realising that they were being dismissed. As the other kids stood up to leave Ryan did too. He looked at Brendon with his beautiful brown eyes and said, 

‘I’ll see you again, right?’

‘Sure, I’d like that.’ Brendon replied with yet another smile on his face.

Ryan waved a short goodbye before turning his back, his face slightly flushed and walked out into the steady (northern) downpour outside.

Brendon checked his phone, he had a text from his mom saying that she would be coming to pick him up from the church in about half an hour. The message was sent ten minutes ago so Brendon figured he had a while to wander about and think over the day’s events. It wasn’t until about five minutes later, Brendon was pacing the pews in the church corridor when he couldn’t help but hear (no, he couldn’t help but to hear) an exchanging of words.

“I don’t know Spence, I really like this guy.” Brendon heard the voice that was unmistakably Ryan, and he felt his heart shatter into millions of tiny pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if you're not into ryden, but i am so hehehehehe
> 
> updated: um wow? 1000 reads that is so fricking cool ahhhhhh. thanks so much xx


	8. i'm the new cancer, never looked better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryden at the beginning BUT DONT FEAR JOSHLER IS HERE.
> 
> small surprise at the end as well (oooooooooooo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T WORRY MY CHILDREN JOSHLER IS COMING BACK NO NEED TO FEAR i was just craving a wee bit of ryden lols. 
> 
> oh would you look at that, it me and also, THIS FIC HAS 1000 HITS AHHHHHHHHHHH.
> 
> anyway, i was thinking of wrapping this fic up pretty soon but having a follow up ryden fic continuing on from this one, so comment if you think thats a good idea.
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy this chapter, its got a little surprise at the end (*waggles eyebrows*)
> 
> xx

Ryan’s POV

He had been bored all day, and having Church class in the middle of it was not his idea of a relaxing afternoon, but there had been one good thing about his day.

Brendon.

Even though he had only known the guy for like, an hour, he had already fallen in love with him. With his perfect hair, his amazing eyes that shone with joy when he was looking at Ryan, his incredible talent at playing the piano with such feeling and emotion and his ability to get lost in it as well, he was the most perfect human being ever.

When he and Brendon had gone their separate ways, Ryan immediately went to find Spencer, his good friend who had been his friend since forever. Because the church class had finished, he went to the hallway Spencer always hung out in until his mother came to collect him and was not disappointed. As usual, he was leaning against the wall, his eyes trained on his phone and he had evidently not noticed Ryan standing there yet. 

Ryan snuck up to him and, making no noise, put his hands on Spencer’s shoulders saying, ‘BOO!’ and then dissolving into giggles when Spencer jumped so high and then just stood there with his hand over his mouth and surprise in his eyes. Eventually, he broke down into giggles as well, joining Ryan in his unstoppable laughing. 

‘Dude, I gotta tell you something, it’s, uh, it’s about a boy.’ Ryan told Spencer timidly.

‘Ooooo tell me, tell me, I want to know, who is it, who is it!’ Spencer replied excitedly, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet and looking expectantly at Ryan.

‘Well his name is Brendon and I snuck off with his during church class to go to the room I always go to, you know the one right? Anyway, he started to play the old piano in there and, damn, he was just amazing, and his eyes are so fucking gorgeous and his smile is so bright and his hair is always good and he is just the nicest person, I-I just, wow he is amazing.’

‘Woah, information overload man, calm yourself, but ok. Brendon? Yeah I know him, he’s cool. I guess if I were gay I would be attracted to him, but since I’m straight, I’m just gonna let you have your own opinion. I think you like him Ryan, like, you’re just smiling non-stop, it’s actually starting to weird me out. But seriously though, you’ve known him for, what, 30 mins tops? Are you sure?

‘I don’t know Spence, I really like this guy.’

There was a silence. Ryan turned his head to the end of the hallway and locked eyes with Brendon, who apparently had only heard the last sentence he had said. Oh god. Brendon must have thought Ryan was talking about someone else, well you’ve screwed this one up already, he thought to himself. He was frozen with a look of surprise and sadness on his face and was jolted from his reverie by Spencer, shaking him and saying, 

‘That was Brendon, right?

Ryan nodded.

‘Why was he looking at you like that? 

‘I think he thought I was talking about someone else, so he ran off.’ Ryan replied with a tone of sadness in his voice.

‘Well, what are you waiting for, stupid, go after him.’

And with that Ryan sprinted down the hallway, following the way Brendon went, determined to put things right. The hallway lead to the door to outside, and so he burst through it and looked frantically around.

There was nobody in sight. He had lost him, and now Brendon would hate him for something that wasn’t even true.

Dejected, Ryan walked back inside to where Spencer was and sat on the floor beside him. 

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*the next morning*

Tyler’s POV

Warmth. That's what Tyler felt when he woke up. He was warm, the bed was warm, whoever was behind him was warm, whoever’s arm was around him was warm, whoever's leg was beside his was war-

Um, what. 

That was Josh, wasn’t it. Tyler froze, hoping Josh wasn't awake and hadn't noticed him yet. 

But his heart dropped as he felt Josh stir behind him. As Josh let out a breath, Tyler felt it tickle the back of his ear and he shivered, the feeling new but not entirely bad. 

Josh settled back down, still pressed up against Tyler, and as time passed Tyler realised two things. 

A, that Josh's arms were still tightly wrapped around Tyler's waist and B, that Tyler needed the toilet. Like, really needed it. 

So he was stuck. He knew that if he didn't go to the toilet, he was literally going to wet the bed, but if he got up to go to the toilet, then he would wake Josh. He had no clue what time it was, but in the end, decided that going to the toilet and waking Josh up was better than the shame of the alternative. 

He gently tried to prise the other boys arms from around himself but did not succeed. In the end, Tyler knew that he would just have to wake Josh up and ask him to move his arms. Ugh. He did not want to do this. 

He cleared his throat. 

‘Uh, Josh?’ he tentatively said. 

Raising his voice a bit he said again, ‘Uh, Josh? Are you awake?’

‘I am now, you spork.’ Josh replied, his voice low and Tyler tried not to think about it too much, what Josh's voice could sa- No. Nope. Nopity nope. 

At least Josh was awake, but there was still the problem of Josh's arms, and because Josh had literally just woken up, he hadn't noticed that his arms were around Tyler yet. 

‘Um, Josh?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Could you like, uh, maybe, y’know, let me go?’

‘What? Oh! Oh god yes oh wow I am so sorry. How long have you been awake? Oh wow, I feel so bad. I'm so so sor-’

Tyler interupted him and said,

‘Josh. Stop, don't worry, I haven't been awake long, I just really need the toilet and I couldn't move your arms. It's ok, really.’

‘Ok. But even though, it was still out of order and I know you said you don't mind but I'm still sorry.’

Josh replied, obviously embarrassed about what had happened, and wanting to apolgise.

‘Uh, Josh? I get that you're sorry, but to be perfectly honest with you, I'm not quite sure why.’

‘Well, for starters, I had my arm around your waist for, like, the whole night, and-’

‘If you're worried about that, don't be. I didn't mind it.’ Tyler replied, with a small smile on his face. Josh, with a relieved, surprised and shy look on his face, started to say something but Tyler interrupted him (once again) saying,

‘Look, I know you were about to say something but, I've gotta pee. Like really, be right back gotta blast and all that.’

And with that, Tyler was out of the bedroom door and went into the bathroom. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh's POV

Wow. Waking up next to Tyler Joseph was a surreal feeling, and unfortunately, Josh knew that would not ever happen again, and he, surprisingly, was sad about that. 

Thinking about that more, he realised that even though he had tried to convince himself time and time again that he was 100% straight, he knew that it wasn't true. And that was probably because gorgeous humans existed like Tyler.

Ok.

He liked Tyler. 

He was happy to say that because it was true, and he didn't want to stop hiding it from himself anymore. 

A broad smile grew on his face as he waited, sitting on the side of his bed, for Tyler to come back from the bathroom. 

When he did finally come back, Josh had no idea what came over him. No. Idea. 

N o. 

I d e a. 

And it all happens so fast as well, it wasn't planned, and was definitely an impulse decision. 

I mean, it wasn't really his fault that Tyler looked so good standing in the doorway to his room, his hair still mussed from sleeping but his eyes clear and bright, a beautiful chocolate brown colour. 

No, of course it wasn't Josh's fault when he stood up from where he was sitting on the bed and walked across the room towards where Tyler was standing with a surprised look in his eye. 

And it definitely wasn't Josh's fault when he kissed Tyler. 

Not his fault when he started to move his lips against Tyler's, ever so soft lips, which responded to Josh's own eagerly. 

And it actually wasn't his fault when Tyler wrapped his arms around Josh's neck, and sighed into the kiss. 

Not his fault when Tyler went pliant in Josh's arms and tilted his head, deepening the kiss. 

No, that was all Tyler's fault. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos appreciated and SHOUTOUT TO BLACKCAROUSEL COS SHE IS GR8.


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